Resistance Is Futile
by Cinnamylchlorid
Summary: After the Great War, Ryuuko finds herself in a time of piece. Everyone in her life seems to move on, except for her - she experiences the feeling of being lovestruck instead. Yet her everyday life has to go on... - Mikiryu, implied Iramako. This story is going to be M in some chapters, I'll always announce explicit content. Constructive criticism is always welcome. :)
1. Chapter 1 - Resistence Is Futile

A loud sigh filled the room. The cold air sipped through the open window, the young dark-haired woman felt goosebumps on her skin. It was almost April, couldn't it finally get warmer?

Instead of standing up and closing her window, she tried to crawl further into her blankets, tried to hide from the cold that invaded her room. That didn't make it better, though. Pillows were crinkling under her, making noises. Again, she sighed, finally sitting up, pushing her messy hair aside. Even in the dark room, her crimson red hair strand would stand out. A little light from the lonely street was falling into her bedroom, illuminating her room slightly. Satsuki was right, she would live… or rather _does_ live in one of the nicest districts of town. Ocean view, check. No noise at nights, check. Even the way to work was short – 10 minutes by foot.

Her gaze wandered to the ocean, the slight waves, to the night sky and its impressive stars. Yeah, it was magnificent here. Mako and Gamagoori next door, Satsuki not too far away. Her adoptive family a few streets farther from her own little flat which was quite small, but it had everything she needed. Indeed, it was way more comfortable than their old house in the slams of Honnou-Town. Compared to that, it was pure luxury she was living in.

But yet, something important was missing.

Still sitting in her bed, her look wandered around the stars. Obviously it was another sleepless night. Another sigh dropped from her mouth.

Yeah, she thought, she had everything. She had her absolutely supportive adoptive family, with her father becoming a real doctor now who didn't have to steal blood and organs to keep the family alive, Matarou was goddamn finally visiting a school regularly and her mom could stay home to keep the household, faithfully waiting for her husband to re-open his doctor's office, as she wanted to work there. With him.

She had Satsuki, her sister. Their relationship was steadily improving, as Satsuki showed a huge interest in her, her life, and her farewell. Thanks to her she had this little flat next to Mako, thanks to her she had her first real job. She could own her money herself instead of relying on her big sister. And Satsuki was understanding Ryuukos ambitions of being self-sufficient. Satsuki, however, was living in the Kiryuuin mansion herself, but she had become the CEO of Revocs Corporation – trying to create an organization she could stand for. An organization she could be proud of. Both sisters could be proud of. Ryuuko smiled at this thought. Satsuki wasn't trying, she was doing it. And she was capable of doing this task – making REVOCs a corporation worth of existing. Yet this was the reason for Ryuuko and Satsuki not being able to see themselves often. But it was okay. Ryuuko knew that Satsuki's work was especially stressful after all the chaos and destruction her mother tried to bring to the world 8 weeks ago. She was astonished – only 8 weeks since she had saved not only her friends' lives, but the world, too. And in this short time, her adoptive sister Mako was not only dating the former shield of Satsuki, no, they even moved in together. Obviously both of them didn't want to miss out on anything now that the world was okay, Ryuuko thought to herself. So both of them were living right next to her. Mako often came over to Ryuuko to chat with her, cuddle her, cook with her. And yet, Ryuuko was sleepless at the nights. Feeling a void nothing in her actual life could fill.

She was living a fucking happy life, she thought.

And again, her heart screamed. Something was missing. Something utterly important was missing and her insides were screaming for this absolute dork.

Resistance was futile. No, she thought, she was trying to resist it for so long. For the past three months or something like that. Effectively since she left his ugly, untidy dorm. After she didn't get the answers she wanted. After she felt so strange when he was joking about a relationship… their relationship… and even though she was fighting so hard, she couldn't help it.

It was her everyday life to miss it. To miss him.

"Damn it."

Her head met her blanket-covered knees which she held firmly onto her body. She was still freezing.

She was fucking missing him so bad she couldn't sleep at night, she couldn't stop to think about him. Yet, she wouldn't talk to anyone about it. I mean, come on, who would she be if anyone knew that she l-

Wait. The L-word was strictly forbidden. She didn't love him. _Not at all._ She wasn't missing him. She didn't love him at all, she repeated to herself.

Why _would_ she even? He was not trustworthy. Withholding information for so long. He was a fucking perv, fucking nudist who treated her like she was 5 in a time of her life when she needed his trust. Needed his support. Yet he always stayed in the back, watching, keeping this beautiful mouth shut. Leaking information way too slow. Instead he always tried to make a move on her, his azure blue eyes locking into hers, grinning a smile which made her heart ache for more…

No, no. No, this wasn't healthy. She grunted in discomfort. She wanted to forget him so badly, yet she couldn't.

He didn't care when he left. Her head was full of questions when they parted. It was twilight when Honnouji Academy and Honnou Town sunk into the deep ocean. It was this bittersweet moment of not knowing what the future might hold for them. Bittersweet feelings threw off the sweet part, turned into bitterness, when he looked at her with a hard gaze, hugging her shortly and mumbling a goodbye into her hair. She was utterly confused, she wanted to scream that he should stay. Stay with her. Instead, she stayed silent, hoping that the looks she were giving him were enough to tell him what she felt, how she felt.

But the world kept rolling on. Her life was keeping her busy. She was alive. And yet, the thought of this moment pierced her heart. She hated it. Hated his look, hated being unable to read this expression on his face. She hated that everybody was progressing, yet she was feeling… empty.

And she hated the fact that she was mourning everything.

She was a nice girl, of course she knew that. Good looking, quite intelligent, hardworking, honest. There were times when she hated herself, but the few months at Honnouji Academy made her self-confident. Proud of herself, even.

And yet the thought of this bastard crushed her. She wasn't weak at all. Two months ago she bared the weight of the world on her shoulders. Doing _everything_ was easier than dealing with her feelings for the man who used to be her teacher.

She found herself remembering the times when she used to wake up in his apartment. A soft smile was on her lips. When he used to strip himself, to make moves on her, to playfully argue with her. She remembered his school lectures, remembered him putting her right about life fibers and his unprecedented seriousness in his eyes, words, and actions; and she remembered their conversations that only both of them shared knowing about.

Her heart ached. She wanted these moments to come back.

Without him, life seemed dull and boring.

"Ryuuko-chan!"

She snapped up. Mako was standing in her bedroom, holding a huge, steaming cup in her hand, being in her nightgown.

"Are you alright? You didn't even hear me knocking", she said, taking a seat next to her sister, crawling under her sheets. "I was just… in thoughts." Ryuuko answered. Mako handed the mug over to her. "Warm milk, for you. You said you didn't sleep well the last nights", she remarked. The black-haired girl smiled. "Thank you, Mako." She took a few gulps before she let the warmth of the milk melt into her hand palms.

"Are you alright?" Mako had that overly worried look on her face. "I guess so", Ryuuko lied. Slowly she understood that she was the opposite of being okay.

"Is it about Senketsu?" Ryuuko shaked her head. The loss of Senketsu was painful, that was true, but that was something she was dealing quite well with. Both girls stayed quiet for some time, the silence was only occasionally broken by Ryuuko taking a sip of milk, by the rustling trees, by the soft sounds of the roaring ocean.

"Then it is about that stuff we were talking about a long time ago! Ooooooooooooh, I didn't think this would still bother you!", Mako yelled all of a sudden.

With a quizzed look on her face – she wasn't even surprised by Makos sudden remarks anymore, Ryuuko asked what the brown-haired girl was talking about. "You know, that night before you and that red Mohawk guy-" "Tsumugu.", Ryuuko threw in, "-yeah, that guy blew up the whoooooole schoolyard, wanting to take Senketsu away from you!" She was yielding her arms in the cold air. Yep, Ryuuko was indeed remembering that day when Tsumugu attacked her, but she wasn't quite sure what Mako was aiming for, with the evening beforehand and stuff. Mako, obviously able to read Ryuukos facial expression of not knowing what she referred to, continued: "You were looking so sad and down, when you left the dinner table that I'd been following you to the bedroom, where you didn't want to talk about it and mumbled something about stupid feelings and that you'd forget them."

Ryuuko bitterly remembered. Mako was right, that was the first night when she started to understand that strange feeling of nausea when she saw Mikisugi.

"You're still in love, Ryuuko-chan!" The sound of the L-word hit her like a wave right in her face. _Shit_ , her mind responded, sending a wave over her so everything in her body was feeling numb. She couldn't exactly make out what Mako was rumbling about afterwards when she left the room to go back to her own flat, go back to her boyfriend.

She was numb. Empty, numb, brain-dead. The truth was sickening her mind.

 _She was in love with Mikisugi._

Even Mako could tell.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Pleasure's All Mine

A/N: Thanks everybody for reading! The favourites and the review made me so much more comfortable as I haven't written fan-fiction for an awfully long time. As well, I haven't even written a whole story in English as it isn't my mother tongue. So if you happen to see any grammar or spelling mistakes, feel free to contact me in every way you're feeling good with! It is always a pleasure to learn more about language and my mistakes. And about your and your thoughts. :)

Btw – I did change a little detail in the former chapter – we're not in May anymore, but in April right now.

Without further ado, let's get back to the story! Thanks so much for being here, I hope you have a good time. :)

* * *

Ryuuko was overwhelmed.  
The last days of March flew away so quickly after having that late night talk with Mako.

Well, she was in love, and she was hating it. She couldn't really do anything about that now, could she?

At least she tried her very best not falling in love with that stupid blue-haired teacher of hers. Yet she failed. Yet she had fallen in love with him so madly. Although she had a strange feeling in her stomach about all this. This wasn't only love. There was something more. Something negative more.

But right now, it was April. The cherry trees were in full bloom and the streets near the schools were buried in pinkish, rose-colored petals.  
April was the time to get things going. To start off freshly. Ryuuko was trying hard. At least, she managed to sleep quite well again, as her dreams weren't haunted of a certain blue-haired teacher anymore. At least not as frequent as beforehand.

Her alarm clock reminded her again that it was time to get up. To get ready for work.

In April, all the schools would welcome their freshmen. As she was working as a librarian trainee, she would finally have some work to do again. Teachers coming by for new didactic readings, pupils to get information for their school projects.

Finally, she would be able to be busy again. Finally her thoughts would not fly around Mikisugi only, she hoped.

Since that night with Mako when she had realized the seriousness of her feelings for her former teacher, a black bird was flying around the few butterflies in her stomach that Ryuuko let fly, trying to devour the beautiful coloured insects. This thing made everything feel bad. Well, the fact that she wasn't likely to see him ever again made this love painful enough, yet there was a thought she didn't really want to handle...

She flew out of her bed, which seemed like she wanted to scare the bad thoughts away, carelessly throwing off her pajamas, hopping under the shower.  
Whilst she was shampooing her darkish hair, she wondered how she could even get so far in falling in love with him.  
Senketsu often had remarked that her heart rate was awfully high around him. He was always teasing her with her body reactions around him.  
She smiled into the water. Senketsu would have been able to answer her properly why she loved him. He was her best friend, and he was gone.  
Then, she sighed. Senketsu had always been a pleasurable comrade. His marvelous honesty was something she always admired. His trust in her, himself. Their team was perfect.

In contrast to Mikisugi, her head murmured.

Well, her calculating mind, her logical brain wasn't really wrong.  
Mikisugi didn't really trust her, did he? He withheld important information all along. Yet she felt good about walking in the dark for so long.

Would she really have joined the battle if she knew all along the truth?

Yet there was no point of wondering about that anymore. He didn't tell her, and she somehow felt a little angry about that.  
She was always wishing for his deep trust. From the very beginning. The dark feeling of hers was strangely intense.

When did she fall in love with him, anyway?  
More importantly, why did she fall with him in love?

 _When he saved you and the made the first move on you_ , she remembered Senketsu remarking. _At the point when you could get the first information out of him, after chasing him down in the school halls, you were falling for him quite surely._

Mikisugi had such a special way of talking to her. Making moves on her. Looking on her, looking after her that made her heart flatter.  
Although he was such a dork, such an idiot for stripping whenever he could, she admired his body, approved his muscles. He was quite fine looking, after all. Even Mako said that.

And obviously he was reliable. He held his promise, after all, she thought. He didn't kill her blindly in his rampage. He held his subordinate Tsumugu away from her.  
Yeah, he could be really serious. And in the times when he didn't need to be serious, he was flamboyant, kind of funny to watch.

 _I'm surprised you like him, though. But at another thought, you two do look great together, Ryuuko. And, as your friend, I'm afraid to say that you'd better focus on the war that goes on, Ryuuko... I'm sorry._

Her heart ached again. For something she couldn't have. Yeah, she was sorry, too.

He was all gone. Most likely in Osaka, dealing with Nudist Beach's disposal.  
She wasn't likely to see him again.  
And, in addition to that, her trust for him had been broken once.

Ryuuko was striking against the shower's tiling.  
Not with enough force to destroy everything, but enough force to get her back into reality.

She was strong. And she would overcome this.  
She wouldn't be the little crybaby, mourning over a lost love. Because she had been experiencing loss often enough to know that she would be okay without him.  
She just had to endure the pain long enough so it would faint. Faint because of the help of both her sisters, their friends.

She forced a smile into her face. She would be okay in no time. Because she was strong.  
At least that's what she's been telling herself.

After blow-drying her shoulder-length hair, she put it up into a ponytail, as it was quite warm today. As well, she put on a simple blouse. It had the color of the night sky, with dark red pinstripes. At least the colors of her choice didn't really change, she thought.  
After buttoning up the blouse, she tied the collar's bow together and put on simple black trousers.

She was looking like a grown woman, ready for work.  
And she was looking oh so good. Mikisugi was missing on this hot women, she remarked to herself playfully, feeling her heart break a little more.

Slipping into her red leather ballerinas – she liked sneakers better in general, but she was fully aware that wearing sneakers was a no-go for her job – she opened up her apartment door to find Makos bento box for her work day ready and good to go.  
Yup, she had to buy tons of sweets for her some day, to properly thank her.

Running over, she had a short look into her letter box, to find a formal letter from Satsuki.

 _Why the fuck does she write me something like that._

Well, most likely it was something rather important, she thought to herself. Something she'd have time later for.

So she shooshed out of the front door and ran into the streets.

* * *

Her morning was quite full of work, Ryuuko thought happily to herself. As the weekend was over, they've gotten lots of books back, books which should be stored into their well-known places again.  
Ryuuko actually liked the busy days better. She didn't like slacking off at work as she usually felt quite quilty being paid for doing nothing. And this way, her mind couldn't drift off.

Everyone in the library admired her strong will to work. And, finally, in contrast to former times, everyone treated her in a normal way. Everyone was so nice and considerate, teaching her the best way they could.  
She was thoroughly enjoying the job. Especially the work with the teachers and students. Helping someone always made her feel better. So she was trying to hurry a little, when she was storing books away so everyone could have the books they're looking for. And that she could get back to the information.

Ryuuko loaded a huge pile of books onto her arms, trying to get as many returned books into one load, so she could unpack the new ones and store them within the next walk. She was still quite strong, so carrying a lot of books wasn't a problem - her limited ability to see was one, though. She's always been afraid to trip or to stumble across someone, but luckily this hadn't happened yet. As she was getting the books out of the room they've been stored in after returnment and on her way to the destined shelf, she was seeing something she'd better have not seen: Out of the corner of her eye, someone was entering the library, someone with ocean-blue hair. Her heart skipped a beat, she was fastening her footsteps, loading the books onto the shelf.

No. Way. Never. Ever.  
Neverneverever.  
This couldn't be. This couldn't be him.

A shiver was going down her spine. Was her mind playing a trick on her? Again? This wouldn't be the first time.

Her heart was still racing, her thoughts wildly flying around. Ryuuko was trying to catch some breaths, to relax a little bit, to tone down the thoughts that were invading her mind. To quiet her heart a little.

 _This must be some imagination. Some weird hallucination._ She must be wrong. Again.

As she stared breathing in and out controllingly, she calmed down.

It must have been a mistake. Some crazy stuff her head made up out of the moment. Her hands were shaking a little. This didn't feel like the last times when she thought she saw him.  
With one final blow, with one final "No" in her head, she broke off her stream of thoughts and got back to work again. She concentrated on getting the books into the shelf, quieting every single yawn for Mikisugi in her heart.

All of this had to stop as quickly as possible.

In a recordtime she had sorted that huge pile of books into the shelves, so she returned to the information to get the freshly arrived and new books into the library.

As she was crouching behind the information counter to get the books out, one of her colleagues was approaching the counter as some customer seemed to need help.  
Ryuukos heart stopped beating when she recognised his voice.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, but I've been searching for a special history book..."

She felt all her blood rushing into her head, into her cheeks. Her colleague was apologising. "I'm sorry, Sir, can I leave you with my co-worker, instead?" She was looking down to Ryuuko. "Ryuuko, would you please be so nice to help that man out? I was going to get paperwork done."

Her brain went on auto-pilote.

She sighed, felt the lump in her throat, tried to swallow it, failed. At least, she got up, her head red and resembling a tomato. She tried so get one strand of her resistant hair behind her ear. "Of course.", she said with a shaky voice, looking into the face she was longing to see for such a long time.

She saw his blue eyes, widened in surprise, his mouth, forming a succulent, honestly happy-seeming smile.  
"Nice to see you, Matoi Ryuuko."

She simply wanted to die.  
"The pleasure's all mine, Mikisugi-sensei."


End file.
